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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27430366">Man With a Reason</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DWayneright/pseuds/DWayneright'>DWayneright</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Not A Fix-It, Unresolved Romantic Tension, post-episode 15x18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:47:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>971</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27430366</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DWayneright/pseuds/DWayneright</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>One of many paths that could have come immediately following Cas' final death and the weight of the words he left with Dean.<br/>"Masquerading as a man with a reason, my charade is the event of the season. And if I claim to be a wise man, it surely means I don't know."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Man With a Reason</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After remaining on the ground, frozen and numb, for what could have been hours, Dean willed himself up. He carried himself back into the main part of the bunker, his feet thankfully knowing the way. He arrived at Cas' room, having gone there on pure instinct. </p><p>He didn't know how long he curled up on Cas' bed, holding the pillow that smelled faintly of him to his chest. How could he do this? Even after all this time, their relationship ended like it began, and how it continuously played out in between: secrets revealed at the worst possible moment. Always given in a moment where course correction was not an option. He lay there, haunted and allowing himself to feel. Or was he forced to feel? Did it matter either way?</p><p>And, there, Dean stayed. Until the maddening silence was broken by the sound of his brother’s voice calling out his name. Once Sam had gotten within hearing range, Dean did reach out and acknowledge him, thickly saying, “Here. Sammy, I’m in here.”</p><p>Sam didn’t say another word until he stepped inside the room. Taking in the sight of his brother in the defensive position he was in, facing the wall and away from anyone who might approach, he quietly sat down on the bed where Dean’s legs were drawn up towards himself.  Dean’s tear-streaked face told him enough. He spoke softly and slowly. “Dean. Has something happened to Cas?”</p><p>Dean felt like it was killing him to answer. “He’s gone, Sam.”</p><p>Trying not to overreact and with no need to rush, because he knew his brother would be up and doing anything and everything he could if there was even a remote possibility that Cas could be brought back, Sam gently asked, “Can you tell me how?”</p><p>“Billie was after us. She was going to kill us both and we couldn’t escape or take her. When we were cornered, Cas told me things.” Dean cut off, his eyes clenched shut.</p><p>Sam began rubbing small circles on Dean’s back, not saying a word and not pressing Dean to hurry up and dig into the details. Dean continued, “He said that he had made a deal with the empty when he saved Jack. The trade was him for Jack.” Sam kept rubbing soothing circles into Dean’s tense back and Dean slowly continued, “He said that it would only come for him when he felt a moment of true happiness.” Sam’s hand stopped for a moment, but he recovered quickly and continued his motion.  Dean did not go into the beautiful things Cas said that were circling around in his head. If he even tried delving into them, he would not be able to hold anything together and would be reduced to crying again.</p><p>Sam knew to let Dean keep going at his own pace, and when Dean did continue it was to simply say, “Cas told me he loves me.” Sam’s hand stopped again, and he couldn’t help but smile, tears now forming in his own eyes. The fell when Dean told him the Empty came to claim him, taking Billie in the process, saving Dean’s life one last time.</p><p>Sam knew that he could now speak, and that he needed to choose his words carefully or Dean would draw inward again and be closed off. “He finally told you. I’m so glad that you have that Dean, that’s an amazing gift.”</p><p>Dean scoffed, “Is that all you can say? One of our best friends died and you are telling me to be grateful I have his last words?”</p><p>Sam kept consoling him and didn’t say anything for a moment, letting Dean soak in his hurt, allowing the edge he was feeling to fade. “He was my very good friend, Dean. But he was more than that for you.”</p><p>Dean didn’t say anything confirming or denying it, like he always did. “How could he possibly love me?”</p><p>“No one has ever said that to you before, Dean. I know it’s always easier to give love than to receive it, but you were everything to him and he would have done anything for you. You had the love of an angel. Do you understand how incredible that is?” Sam asked.</p><p>Dean let out a choked sob and Sam moved behind Dean so that he could hold him. Dean didn’t resist him, but such was the depth of his loss.</p><p>“I love him, Sammy.” Dean said unapologetically.</p><p>“I know you do, Dean. I only wish you would have loved yourself the way Cas does, and allowed yourself to have had so much more.” </p><p>Hearing Jack from down the hall, Sam stood up and said, “I’m gonna go fix something to eat for him, and talk to him about what happened. Do you want anything?”</p><p>Dean suddenly stood. Sam looked at him straight on for the first time. He looked like hell, his eyes were red rimmed and he looked older than he had in awhile. However, Dean was determined again.</p><p>“I’m gonna be there to tell him.” Dean declared, making for the door and wiping his eyes on the back of his sleeve.</p><p>Sam said, “Alright.”</p><p>They made their way down the hallway into the kitchen. Jack was sitting at the table alone. He knew something was terribly wrong and he didn’t know what was about to come out of their mouths. But the fact that Castiel was not there when they approached gave him a sense of foreboding about what was to come next. Dean looked at Jack and what he saw there was  the hard work and the sacrifice and the love that was his Cas, and Jack was their son. And he was going to help their son be the best he possibly could be. In the face of God himself.</p>
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